Demoniac Nightmares [Schizophrenia]

[Preamble]

This time…
Things are looking gray. Gray.
Don’t know how to decide for a way.
Oh no… oh no…
It seems in falling in nothing.
I’m nothing.
There’s nothing.
How to open eyes to Light?

[Slave]

My reasoning is against me.
It says there’s no why for living
But my heart is still beating.
And I don’t really want to die.

I can’t find the road home,
I just want to feel that I can love.
I just don’t believe that it’s all burned.
My soul is frozen in the dark.

You see that I’m a slave,
I’m feeling like a slave,
A slave for your dreams,
Or that’s the way it seems.
I’m chained to myself,
To what you make me make.
No matter what I want.
You see that I’m a slave,
I’m feeling like a slave,
A slave for your dreams,
Or that’s the way it seems.
I’m chained to myself,
To what you make me make.
No matter what I want:

A DAMN SLAVE!

[A cigarette and beer]

Here I am again with me.
Getting drunk with darkness feelings.
Talking of the way we failed.
And I don’t think,
That this all is going somewhere good,
But the shadows of my mind are truth,
I am lost against my world.

With a cigarette and beer,
Darkness tries to look clear.
But I’m sure of what’s not real,
And what is not.
All my desperation’s not just pain,
All this emptiness is making me insane…
The ghost of violence is there.

Don’t take me…
I don’t want to break my chains.
Don’t make me…
Screw up everything I have.
Just leave me…

JUST LEAVE ME! NO! NO!

[Schizophrenia]

I like to smile,
The wind, the sun,
The sea, the light,
And those green elephants in my sky.

Shut up those voices…
Shut up… SHUT UP!
I want no fucking noise.
Who the hell said that?
Shut up… SHUT UP!
Go ahead and fight to me,
COME ON!

I hear your whispers
Haunting me.
I don’t want to listen to your laughter.
These demons imprisoned me.
All of you please, I’m sorry.

All this rage has come to me,
I’m in a universe that you don’t see.
Now I feel like a beast,
A cursed animal with no control.
All the love I ever felt
Is now frozen in my chest.
Please stop all this shit,
Make me die or make me sleep.

I hear from my cell how you speak.
“He’s crazy, he’s insane,
I just can’t hold it anymore”
Please, don’t cry for me.
I don’t deserve your tears.
Please send me where I can’t hurt you.
Please, please forgive me.

[Nightmare]

Anesthetized and by my own,
My soul is flying through the clouds.
Now I can see what the world is…
It seems that God is calling my name…

This letter explains it all,
My imagination wasn’t just enough
For filling this all…
I know this was my fault.
My dementia was noxious for you all.
I’ll be all right, wherever I’ll be.
I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me.
Smile back, to your lives.
I’ll be all right as you’re fine.
I’ll be all right.